Little Person Grief
What do we do when our little people have so many feelings? There is no 2 minute answer. Does Jesus even know what it feels like to miss out on important things and be sad and angry? YES. OF COURSE HE DOES. But, do your little people understand that?
Here is the best way I’ve found to talk about deep hurt, bullying or unfairness to children. It is best broken up over a few sittings. Note: I am a mom and a believer and sometimes an art teacher, but I am not a trained counselor. Just sayin’
First, read Psalm 139 together and imagine together how much God loves you. If your house is like mine, you’ll hear things like, “He loves me more than I love rollarcoasters! He thinks about me more than all the flowers on Earth”
The next day, make a heart as a family or individually. A BEAUTIFUL HEART. Work diligently at the heart, crafting it. Write Psalm 139:14 on your heart. By the end of this craft, every single person should be personally invested in this heart. It can have tractor stickers, paint and glitter, real flowers, minecraft characters, collage, marker stripes, anything you choose. But, I repeat, it should be BEAUTIFUL.
3. Then, in one foul, vicious, merciless, surprise swoop, crumple your heart into a ball. There should be audible gasps from your small people.
4. As you smooth it out and apologize for startling them, explain that we are so sad about the heart because we love how we made it. It should feel wrong for something so beautiful to be crumpled. Tell them that we are God’s creation, made even more beautifully, and He is sad when sin or diseases, like coronavirus, or pain “crumples” His people. He is even sadder and madder than we are when His people are worried and afraid and missing their friends and teachers and grandparents.
A question you will get is, “Then, if God is mad and sad about it and you say He is so powerful, why doesn’t He stop it? Why doesn’t He do something about it?!” It is okay to say we don’t know why God let it happen exactly and also we don’t know all the ways He is working to stop it. But, remind them of Psalm 139. God has more thoughts about us than the sand. He is powerful enough to put our bodies together. He is with us and sees us all the time. He fixes things His own way for our good. It is hard to trust God and His plan, but we are trusting God—who we know loves us and makes the best plans and is powerful enough to do anything.
5. Then, work on THIS list together. People don’t always understand what they feel. Write it out so your family can see the words. Tell them over and over that God knows how they feel. Help them think of ways God is blessing your family while things are hard.
6. Remind them that, in Jesus, God came down to be a person. Look at Hebrews 2. Jesus knows how beautifully He made us and the world and He knows what it is to be human. Jesus chose to suffer with us so He could rescue us. In the new heavens and new earth, we will have new bodies. It will be like making a whole new same BEAUTIFUL heart, only better—”uncrumpleable” as my little person called it.
7. Now, pray together. Talk to the Jesus who understands and is always listening to His people. He wants us to. “God, thank you for ______. And, I feel _______. God, I want you to ________. ” Keep praying when someone feels sad or worried or anxious. Over and over.
Then, watch to see how God answers your prayers together.
And, incidentally, I grew up going to a small church where a lot of the people had suffered deeply and were yearning for heaven. And, for a time, we sang the song Does Jesus Care? quite a bit and I still remember it. “Oh yes, He cares. I know He cares. His heart is struck with my grief. When the days are weary, the long nights dreary, I know my Savior cares.”
